Closure for Lost Battles

Music Pick of the Day: Third Eye - Big K.R.I.T.

Quote of the Day: "God can do more with who you are than who you pretend to be..."

- Guvna B 

This post is dedicated to : Katie Neamo & Kayshon Hawkins 

CLOSURE TO LOST BATTLES

Happy Holidays! This season brings some people the most comforting and joyous moments they will ever experience and haunt others with times of grieving,mourning, depression and magnifies what they have sacrificed or lost throughout the year. If you fall in either one of these categories, I double dare you to give God thanks anyhow..simply because if you can still "feel", you are still "alive". 

As always, I want to thank you all for your views, comments and reads. The constant support is what keeps me going. This is all preparation and rough draft for my book, Lessons Learned, that I plan to publish in May 2015.  Please stay tuned and keep me motivated, if you will!

So! As we are bringing this year to close, for some the years usually mesh together and there is never a renewing experience. I pray that this year's transition is totally different for you. 2014 shall be the closure to your lost battles. In any situation of loss,failure, or death, ... there is an urge to bring a "relief" or closure to what has transpired. Without closure of some sort, it seems almost impossible to get passed what has happened without that clarity and burden lifted. 

Hopefully this post will help with refocusing your emotions and reach the level of clarity you deserve from my own experiences. Keep in mind, it is an on-going process and lessons are learned daily which modify and alter how to deal with things but I just hope we can inspire each other to move forward so that the Lord can move you upward..how he desires. To God be the glory, I have never had to overcome the extreme loss of a loved one  (to the passing of life) so I cannot speak fluently on that topic. Hopefully, a reader who has experienced/overcome death of a loved one can offer that expertise (feel free to comment or email me - jalynnajones@gmail.com if you have feedback on that topic specifically that you feel can be therapeutic to someone experiencing a similar heartache.)

LOST OF A LOVER

Heartbreak is a normal emotion. It feels lonely, it feels extreme...and you think no one could ever understand how you feel. But just about everyone experiences heartbreak. We react to this in different ways. To this date, it is a process I do not wish on my worst enemy. I challenge you to believe that heartbreak is actually a very strong motivator and one of the greatest opportunities of realism.

Heartbreak usually results from relationship imbalance, misunderstanding and over-loving. Heartbreak is the limitation our body puts on itself to say "Enough is enough, stop what YOU are doing.", key word, YOU. YOU cannot control what someone else will [or will] not do, or and cannot see. Therefore, your clarity will not come from that companion or lover...so limit your tears, your urgency to speak to them; begging, pleading, and arguing...that pushes that person farther away from understanding and farther away from you.

So, I urge you to seek closure in this manner:

Remember why you feel in love with this person to begin with; allow what inspired you to love that person to remind you why you've stayed, endured, and supported them. Allow those reasons to allow you to "forgive" them for what they have done. 

(However, do not allow these reasons to make you feel imprisoned by them, it's okay to let someone go, without remorse, and with a grudge-free spirit toward them) 

Ask God for strength, and ask Him to reveal the "errors" you have made so that you correct them with His help 

Refrain from listening to music that pulls your heart strings...Fill your music selections with motivating and uplifting music 

Refrain from confiding in others about your personal issues with this person. A relationship is between two people. No matter what the circumstance, allow that person to have their dignity and keep your business exclusive. 

Find the root of the problem (where did it start? when did you initially start feeling like this? Did you speak on it with your lover? Did you all come to an understanding? What was the result? What is YOUR Role in this?)

LOST OF A FRIEND 

This one is fairly simple. You may not understand what this person did to you and why but one thing is for sure:  you do not lose friends. Some people are truly associates or seasonal individuals that find you convenient or profitable to their lifestyle. They are users, they have not discovered themselves or their purpose and they chose to leach off of yours; but these people never prosper until they realize the damage they have caused to others. Thus, your closure should be to not victimize yourself  but understand that this person did you a HUGE favor by leaving your life. Now, you can focus on the people who truly do love and appreciate you without that one heavy spirit. 

LOST OF YOURSELF 

Above all, this is the greatest lost anyone can experience. Speaking for myself, at 22, it's traumatizing to lose yourself in the midst of stages where you are truly FINDING who you are; but the great news is that as long as you are live..God is giving you the opportunity to give yourself what you deserve. We are all made for specific purposes to glorify the body of Christ and everything happens for a reason (even though we all know this, we have to constantly be reminded). In life, things transpire that you NEVER imagined would be a part of your existence. But the biggest tool to use in this time of self re-building is FAITH. Specific faith. Faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. You must have faith that what has been taken from you was not meant for you to keep and what is coming for you cannot be received unless you are looking UP and straight FORWARD. 

You must refrain from:

- Self Pity (looking down - which requires your blessings to go unnoticed - distorts your focus) 

- Debbie Downers (these are people that co-sign on your loss and find this an opportunistic time to also wear you down with how they too, have lost themselves. While, this sometimes is an opportunity for two people to find strength in each other....it often results in a negative force on YOUR re-building process)

THIS is the time to start a new life cycle and pour yourself into the Lord. Not just for the moment, but create a new way of living for yourself that you can commit to!!! Loosing yourself (especially at a young age) is NOT a bad thing. It is verifying your humanness. When everything falls apart, Jesus will be there to pick up the pieces. It may be three hours, three days, three years or thirty --- but that just depends on who he is dealing with and how they decide to cooperate ;). 

In conclusion, the main point to grasp about closure is that the clarity you are seeking is usually within yourself. While it may be difficult not to have a moment with that person you felt like is the reason why you are in this situation... that "closure talk" puts so many people back in the power of the person who is hurting them. It's not about "Falling back" or "cutting someone off";It's more about choosing peace and yourself over the captivity of others. 

I can only speak on this matter from experience and I hope this assists at least one soul "move on", It is surely a part of life. It is rough. But...you can possibly kill yourself emotionally if you do not know how to conquer battles from within. 

Start your "closure" process, today.

- Love, Jalynn A. Jones